Has an adult in your child’s life (including you) used any of these terms to describe your child? Inattentive, angry, impulsive, distracted, nervous, irritable, depressed, not following directions, moody, hyperactive, stubborn, anxious, fidgety, fearful…the list could go on and on. Generally, if your child is anything but happy and functioning optimally, sleep should be the first stop on the intervention train.
In graduate school (and based on my experience with physicians, probably in also in medical school), sleep was never mentioned. All of that education to help kids with behavioral, emotional, and academic problems…and sleep (or even health in general) never came up. However, it makes complete sense that sleep and physical health would be extremely important factors for anyone struggling with behavior or emotions.
It blew my mind when I learned the importance of sleep during my postdoctoral training. How could I not have thought of this before? It blew the minds of the parents I worked with too! No one had discussed their child’s sleep with them before, not even professionals prescribing medication.
How Important Is Sleep?
A 2018 study by Kidwell and colleagues (conducted in the clinic where I was trained) found that getting kids better sleep helped with their behavioral and emotional problems. Kidwell noted that the children included in the research were initially only getting an average of 7.4 hours of sleep per night.
Much like the study, most of the kids I worked with in the clinic demonstrated behavioral and/or emotional problems such as non-compliant behavior, ADHD, and anxiety. However, almost all of them were not getting enough sleep.
Many of them showed improvement after they started getting better sleep. And while some families may have needed additional techniques to help with the problems they were experiencing, some didn’t need any more help at all once sleep was improved!
This is why I always start with sleep.
How Much Sleep Does My Child Need?
That’s an excellent question. It’s often more than parents think.
I use the sleep guidelines suggested by Richard Ferber in his book Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems; however, the National Sleep Foundation has also published research-based guidelines. I prefer the Ferber guidelines (click here to view an “unofficial” copy) because they give a more specific goal for parents to work toward.
Regardless of which guidelines you choose, remember that every child is different. However, I can definitively say that the 7.4 hours per night reported in the Kidwell study is much less than recommended by any sleep guidelines!
Sleep Quality is Equally Important
Determining the right amount of sleep for your child is just the first step. There are many other components involved in getting your child not only enough sleep but also quality sleep.
Kids (and adults!) need to be tired to fall asleep. They also need to have a sleep environment that is comfortable and free from distractions that could prevent them from falling asleep quickly.
Most kids will fall asleep within about 30 minutes, so plan bedtime accordingly.
Develop a nighttime routine that ends with you leaving your child’s room 30 minutes before the time they need to be asleep. Keep this routine and bedtime consistent, even on weekends.
Remove all distractions (all toys, pictures, etc) from your child’s room if you find that they are not falling asleep within about 30 minutes.
Make sure their room is cool and dark.
Use a white noise machine if distractions from outside their room may interfere with sleep.
Provide daily opportunities for vigorous physical activity so that your child is sufficiently exhausted at bed time.
Make Sleep a Priority!
Don’t have time in your schedule for all of these sleep requirements? Make time.
Sleep is more important than extracurricular activities, homework, and even spending time together as a family. We recently stopped attending our daughter’s dance class because it interfered with the sleep of several family members.
Making sleep a family priority will set your child up for a lifetime of good sleep habits and overall health.
Here’s the takeaway – anytime you find that your child or other family members are struggling emotionally or behaviorally, start with sleep. It’s that important.
Need more help with sleep? Read “Sleep, Toddler, Sleep!” and “3-Year-Old Sleep Success!” for more tips!
Sleep all set, but you are still struggling with child behavior? Check out “Making Kids Want to Behave” for ideas on where to go next!