Sleep. It’s one of my favorite topics. I love to sleep. I love it when my kids sleep. Sleep. Is. The. Best.
Sleep makes everyone feel better. I’m much less grouchy. I can think clearly. I have more energy. My husband is pleasant to be around. And my kids act like helpful well-behaved angels.
Getting the sleep – that’s the tricky part! As I write this post, my 6-month-old daughter is asleep on my chest and my 2-year-old son is asleep in a rocking chair. Not really the ideal settings for naps, but sleep is just that important! I will take what I can get!
The Importance of Sleep…
Why is sleep so important? I’m glad you asked! According to the National Sleep Foundation, sleep allows our body to recover from the day and prepare for the next day. All of the information we have taken in for the day is stored, and our body rests and repairs itself.
Sleep is vitally important for our immune systems and for our health in general. Getting good sleep has been linked to decreased risk of dementia, type 2 diabetes, and cancer. Really, sleep itself does not prevent these diseases but rather allows your body to function optimally (like keeping your hormones regulated) which helps prevent these diseases.
This gives you a general idea how sleep is interconnected with the health of pretty much everything in your body. If it has that much of an affect on your body, guess what else it affects?
That’s right! Behavior! Everyone’s behavior – parents, kids, that driver who tailgated you on the way to work…everyone. Sleep is one of the most important things that you do every day.
Getting Baby (and Kids) to Sleep is Hard!
In our household, our children’s sleep is now a major focus because of my dear husband’s intense love for our two-year-old son, which has thwarted sleep training at every turn!
Our son has become dependent on my husband to fall asleep and to get through the night. He frequently wakes and searches for his daddy.
Thus, to allow everyone to get the best sleep possible, my husband and son sleep in one bedroom, and the baby and I sleep in a separate bedroom. It’s not the setup I would prefer, but it is currently necessary!
Independent sleep for our son (and me sleeping in the same bed as my husband) is probably a long way off. (Here’s an update on this situation!) Therefore, I am channeling my efforts toward a hopefully more successful experiment: teaching the baby to sleep in her crib (an experiment that has been running…since her birth).
As a psychologist, I know very well how to train children to be independent sleepers. As a parent, I struggle. We all want our kids to be happy, and the full-on scream those kids can make during sleep training can break a parent’s heart.
I was determined not to end up with two kids dependent on us for sleep, so I started immediately with the baby!
Our Version of Baby Sleep Training
There are many methods of sleep training, which I will describe in more detail in future posts; however, sleep training generally ranges from crying-it-out to co-sleeping.
As a behaviorist, crying-it-out (or extinction) makes the most sense to me and is the fastest method; however, as a mom, it is intolerable!
Other popular methods include the no-cry method and the Ferber method, both of which take much longer than straight-up extinction. My method could be described as almost-co-sleeping-fading-into-modified-extinction. Read on for details!
Initially I slept next to my sweet baby, both of us on our respective mattresses on the floor. I nursed her in my bed throughout the night and then moved her to her own immediately after.
As she grew and was able to roll, I continued this ritual, but I placed her asleep in her crib instead of on the mattress on the floor.
Around 4 months old (when many babies are able to sleep longer without a feeding), I began letting her cry a little during earlier night wakings, and she almost always fell back asleep on her own.
I was able to do this by waiting until I couldn’t take her pleas any longer (which was usually only a few minutes), and then I went in the bathroom. By the time I came out, she had usually fallen asleep!
Now that she is 6 months old, we have graduated to putting her to bed awake at the beginning of the night, which has been fairly successful. She has cried a few nights, but only for a few minutes, before falling asleep.
I hesitate to say it, but she may be trained! Of course, this method may not work for everyone, but I found it to be a tolerable combination of proven behavioral technique and love.
There is still much work to do with the baby. She continues to want an early morning feeding most nights, and I am not ready to give up that last nighttime snuggle feed!
Then there is the most difficult sleep lesson of them all – independent napping! This will be the focus of my next behavioral kid-speriment!
Did you sleep train your kids? Feel free to share your experience!
Learn how sleep routines can help you make your kids more independent sleepers!