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Diapers aren’t gone forever for us, not yet. But one less kid in diapers is still a dream come true!
Lately I have seen so many social media requests for help with potty training that I was inspired to share our potty training story.
When Is the Right Time to Potty Train?
Our then 2-year-old didn’t train himself. He wasn’t “just ready”. We decided it was time, and our hard work and research-based methods paid off!
When I say we decided it was time, really what I mean is that life became so stressful that something had to give. Let me set the scene. When our son was just over two years old, he was showing interest in using the potty and had used it occasionally; however, I was about 5 months pregnant and ordered to restrict my activity, which included trying to lay inverted most of the time and not lifting over 20 lbs. These factors made potty training quite difficult.
About a month later, our son broke his leg at a trampoline park (heed my warning!), which quashed any remaining hopes we had of potty training before the baby came due to his full leg cast. I really didn’t want to spend the next six weeks immobile with a toddler in a pee-soaked cast.
Over the next month or so, I was in and out of the hospital with preterm labor, leaving the bread-winning and all of the household duties to my husband. The baby then arrived a month early, shortly after the cast came off. My husband, who had been doing all of my usual tasks including diaper changing, finally snapped and decided that our 2-year-old needed to use the potty! I was sleep deprived and knee-deep in newborn infant care, which did not leave me with much patience for the rest of the family, so my dear husband sent me and the rest of the kids out of the house one morning while he potty trained our son! I’m a lucky woman!
How Do You Potty Train?
Our potty training methods were adapted from the 1974 behavioral classic Toilet Training in Less Than a Day by Azrin and Foxx. I am almost positive I remember seeing this book on my parents’ bookshelf. We followed most of the steps fairly closely, and we were thrilled with the results!
In general, toilet training uses the same methods that I have described in other posts for dealing with troublesome kid behavior – teaching and practicing with a dash of motivation! As always, before attempting to potty train, you must establish a good relationship with your child so that he or she will be receptive to your teaching. (Check out this post for help with this.) Our son was already fairly compliant, so we were all set!
We used a potty chair with a removable pot as described in the book (we used one like this one), and our son wore very loose-fitting underpants. Before beginning, we also removed all of our vulnerable rugs and furniture from the living room. My husband turned the TV off, and I took our other kids out of the house for what my husband claims was 6 hours, although I think it was more like 3 or 4. Regardless, the focus of their morning was using the potty, nothing else. The rest of my tale is second-hand, but never fear, my reporter is reliable.
My husband first instructed our son in using the potty with hand-over-hand assistance as needed. The steps included walking to the potty, pulling down his pants, sitting on the potty (sitting is recommended for both genders so that they are ready for bowel movements should they arise), waiting for pee to come out, pulling his pants back up, dumping the pot into the toilet, and flushing.
It is imperative that enthusiastic verbal praise is used throughout the training for any correct behaviors!
Additionally, my husband rewarded appropriate behaviors with cookies and crackers. In order to encourage frequent practice using the potty during training, tasty taboo beverages were given as rewards such as juice or even…soda. Basically, my husband pumped as much liquid as he could into that boy so that he could practice, practice, practice.
Every 15 minutes or so, my husband directed our son to use the potty, verbally reminding him of the steps as needed. He also conducted “dry pants checks” throughout the training in which he would ask our son if his pants were dry, have him feel his underpants, and then enthusiastically reward dry pants.
Initially there were many accidents. (Very glad I wasn’t there). Keep a supply of towels handy. When accidents happened, our son was instructed to run to the potty, remove his wet underpants, finish peeing in the potty, wipe himself off, clean up the pee with a paper towel, and put on dry underpants, with very mild disapproval from his dad. Then they went right back to checking for dryness, rewarding dryness with salty snacks and tasty drinks, and running to use the potty!
It seems too good to be true, but for the most part he was trained (meaning pee trained) after just one intense day of this routine. And my husband was exhausted. Azrin and Foxx’s description of the process makes it seem methodical and simple; however, upon reviewing this post, my husband agreed that “intense” is a good descriptor for the chaotic string of pee accidents that initially occur when beginning the training. Despite the harrowing first few hours, he was glad he stuck with it!
For the next few days, we continued to ask our son if he needed to use the potty every 20 to 30 minutes and continued to do periodic dry checks, both followed by enthusiastic praise and rewards. Accidents usually occurred when we started to slack on the potty reminders. We kept the rugs out of the living room for two weeks until accidents stopped completely. After about a month, he didn’t need reminders at all anymore and rewards had mostly been phased out.
How Do You Potty Train for Poop?
What about poop, you ask? Poop is another story. Azrin and Foxx suggest that poop will usually naturally train once peeing is successful; however, some kids make it difficult. Like our kid. He still seemed to prefer to go in his underpants even once he was a skilled potty pee-er.
To solidly train him to “number two” in the potty, we employed a sit schedule (a common behavioral treatment for soiling) combined with highly desirable rewards, such as candies and small cupcakes. The schedule entailed sitting on the potty about 20 minutes after each meal (or anytime we sensed a soiling accident might be imminent) for as long as we could keep him there – ideally 10 to 20 minutes. He was usually somewhat motivated to sit if we read books to him, allowed him to use his tablet, or granted the ultimate privilege – use of one of our phones. (For more resistant kids, it may be necessary to allow privileges like tablets only while sitting on the potty.)
After about a week of diligent reminding, enticing rewards, and enthusiastic praise, our son finally pooped in the potty and was extremely proud of himself. After another two or so weeks of regular toilet sitting and rewards, he was recognizing when he needed to go independently!
All in all, our son was completely potty trained within about 4-6 weeks, by age 2 ½. Now, just past his 3rd birthday, he has occasional minor pee accidents when he is engrossed in other activities. Since that initial two weeks following training, he has full-on peed his pants only a handful of times, usually when upset and confused after a difficult nap awakening.
My husband was so impressed with the results of these behavioral techniques that he claims he is going to train our daughter at 18 months! I welcome his ambition!
Don’t forget to enroll in my potty training course for more guidance and tips to quickly reach your potty training goals!